Part 3 of 3 - Hunter

Part 1 was the back story to part 2, posted in honor of my sons 15th birthday. Today, the last of these three installations concerning the birth years, but certainly no less sweet, and certainly the addition necessary to complete our family.

My fifth child, Hunter, has always had the youngest child complex: "I'm not as athletic as..., I'm not as musical as..., I'm not as smart as smart as...," etc. Recently, he had a personal crisis, and during our beautiful and painful discussions my darling boy said to his daddy and I, "I don't feel like I deserve to be in this family." This is what I told him (more or less)...

I was an idealistic newlywed, in 1984, with dreams of a perfect, fairy tale life with four perfect children and a perfect husband who would fix all the bad stuff in my imperfect childhood. Truth be told, my dream came true, but not without a detour that would change my priorities and perspective. Details of my childhood are very harsh and sad, and I will share them with you, in time, but are part of what I believe is the beginning of another God-story of redemption. Certainly, my darling husband was and has always been an anchor in my life, my best friend and confidante, teaching me that relationships can be happy, loving, even wildly hilarious.

My first two children were every mothers fulfillment of beautiful, loving, and even intelligent children. I was tucked into my snug little abode with my two toddlers, my piano, and a banana-cream colored station wagon I was so proud of. My life was perfect, though not without a bump here, or a stumble there. I was living a life so different from that of my childhood, in terms of being deeply loved and loving deeply.

Then the great sadness knocked on our door (read Part 1 in my blog), threatening to knock down and break our hearts into pieces. God was with us in every moment of the blissful, the dismal, and finally, the whole and wiser parts of our lives. I say OUR lives because it's not just my story. It belongs to my husband, our winsome, wonderful and enchantingly perfect Hannah and Lucas, and the people who have lifted us up physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Then came Preston, as I wrote about in Part 2. I was feeling like the hole in my heart was very close to healed. But, remember my dream to have four children? I had birthed four children, but one was residing in Heaven, and I still longed to have four little people in my home, to love, to pass on whatever wisdom I have  acquired, and impart a passion to live your life to the fullest in Christ. To show them that fairy tales can come true: God can make the crooked path straight, marriage can be glorious, there can be sheer joy after heartbreak, and everyday is a gift from God to be grasped hold of and cared for as a precious jewel.

It wasn't long before I was pregnant with my last little one. The pregnancy was easy, birth was easy with five short hours of labor. I knew I had been handed another of the five miracles I call my children. Hunter was a sweet baby, content and bubbly.

Now at the ripe age of 13 Hunter is ever the friendly, gentle soul who has a natural aptitude to teach and comfort others. I have told Hunter, and I think he may be able to ingest this truth more as he grows older, that, had we not lost Elizabeth, our third child now living with Jesus in Heaven, we would never had thought of having another baby because she would have been the last in my predetermined number of kids. "Certainly," I've told Hunter, "the Lord must have something very special for you to be and to do, to have called your sister Home, and predestined that you be on earth. It is this family, this mother and father, sister and brothers who prayed you into our lives, and you do belong! We wouldn't be US without you, and I wouldn't be me without the part of me whose name is Hunter. None of us "deserves" anything good. It's only by the grace of God that we have the life with which He has blessed us. You are part of His blessing on my life! You belong!" He smiled, even laughed, and said, "Okay." I Love you, Hunter. "Open the gate and seize the day!"